Jersey friggin Shore! Only in America right? Can you imagine if they played this on local television around the world? This show sums up why the rest of the world hates us. You have some poor kid across the ocean who has to walk twenty miles to school just to set him up for the one in a million chance to get a good job, when we have Mike “The Situation” famous and rich because, well… his name is The Situation.
But we love them don’t we? Even if you say you don’t, you lie. They are impossible to ignore, I have not missed an episode yet, I’m even contemplating dressing up as Snookie for Halloween.
But I have to say I am kind of disappointed in my boys this year. The MVP’s (Mike, Vinny, Paulie D) are bringing in the trash. I think they like to call them “grenades”, but I am here to let you know these girls are officially bombs… dirty bombs. They have to be carrying diseases. I think the smoosh room needs one of those bug-bombs to get those leftovers off the sheets.
These poor girls mothers, can you imagine hearing them explain why the hooked up with one of these guys on national television? “Well mom, I was in this club in Miami, and this guy was wearing sunglasses inside, dripping with sweat because he was beating the beat up. He wouldn’t talk to me, he just kept flashing his abs at me from across the room. He was making out with other girls but I really dug his v-neck that went down to his belly-button. I knew he really had feelings for me when he kissed me and my best friend at the same time”.
Now we know why good girls like bad guys… because it gets them on TV. But please MTV, please let this train wreck unfold in front of us for seasons to come. Because you know, if you took all our responsibilities away and paid us to act like we were twenty-one again, we would all sign up to smoosh on TV. (Well, maybe not all of us)
Written by Josh