Many people spend a lot of time and effort thinking about the different elements contributing to divorce, but depending on the circumstances, there are ways to prevent a divorce. Divorce happens more often than many think, but ideally, it’s a last resort. Let’s dive into what you can do to potentially head off needing a divorce attorney.
What is a divorce?
A divorce is a formal legal process by which a marriage is dissolved. It finalizes all marital responsibilities between the parties and dissolves the bonds of matrimony.
Throughout history, society has become more accepting of divorce as a way to end a marriage. It can be attributed to many factors, including individual choice and changing perceptions of what makes a good marriage. Although marriage is still viewed as a highly desirable union, divorces have increased dramatically since the 1960s.
Statistics show that about 40% – and it’s likely more — of marriages end in divorce. It can be concerning to some people and a relief to others. The truth is that most marriages do not end in divorce, and people can prevent it by starting on the right foot with their soon-to-be spouse and being open and honest with one another.
What causes divorce?
There are different reasons a marriage could end, including physical abuse, adultery, and other forms of abuse. Financial strain is a very common contributor to divorce. Sometimes one spouse feels unhappy in the relationship but does not feel it’s necessary to end the marriage. Sometimes couples just drift apart gradually and lose common interest. The drain of parenting and demanding careers can also cause marital rifts.
Many people who are contemplating divorce often wonder how they can prevent it from happening at all. Although it is impossible to prevent every divorce, there are a variety steps to take to potentially avoid divorce. Many people don’t take the step of planning for their future marriage, but they should because it can save countless headaches and heartaches.
Steps to take to prevent a divorce
There are many things that married people can do to ensure the success of their marriage. And these steps start before you even get married to help protect the relationship and prevent a divorce.
1. Open Conversation
You and your partner must keep your conversations open and honest. Open communication can make all the difference in a marriage. You must be willing to talk about your feelings, and your significant other must also. If you do not want to talk about a particular issue, then the best way to handle this is to sit with your partner and explain why you don’t want to discuss it. Communication is a huge part of every relationship, and you should never take it for granted. You and your partner need to feel like you can discuss anything with one another.
2. Pre-Marital Counseling
Research shows that counseling couples before marriage can give them knowledge and skills to protect their union and prevent divorce later in life. You should know what a healthy marriage looks like and what it takes to have a good one. If you do not learn these things before getting wed, you might not be as successful as you could be in your relationship. Even during marriage, counseling can help you and your partner solve any issues that you are having. There are many online counseling options available, and they are relatively low-cost. It’s worth considering whether counseling can benefit you and your partner to prevent divorce.
3. Approach it Like a Business Merger
You should approach the relationship like being a business partner. It’s not very romantic, but it will set the stage to work together as a team and meet your common goals. You will discuss what you want for yourself and ensure that you are on the same page. It is important to also consider your partner’s wants and needs because this is what creates a successful marriage. Your partner’s wants and needs will be different from yours, and you must be able to make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship.
4. Shared Values
Be honest about your values and be sure that you both share the same values. Shared values are a key to the success of long-term relationships.
5. Compromise 1
Be willing to compromise. You must be able to come to an agreement that works for both of you. It is essential because marriage will not survive if you can’t find a way to work together. Don’t hold on too tightly to winning. Compromise will take you further in marriage than fighting to always win.
6. Be Honest
Take a realistic look at the relationship. Look at things like your finances, sex life and children. These are all parts of life that a marriage is made of; if you don’t take them seriously and put effort toward them, your relationship will suffer.
7. It’s Not a Game
You should always establish the fact that there is no such thing as “I win” or “you lose.” To have a successful marriage, oftentimes, both partners need to bend for the sake of a happy partnership.
8. Be Accountable
Be willing to be accountable for yourself and your actions. In a marriage, oftentimes duties like finances and chores get split up based on who is good at and who likes certain tasks. Be accountable for the roles you take on, but also be willing to help your partner with their roles when needed.
9. Shared Goals
You and your partner must align your shared goals. It means you should want the same things out of your marriage and be willing to work together to achieve them. It would be best if you had the same goals regarding children and how many you wish to have, what they will do when they grow up, how often they should visit their grandparents, rules for them, etc. You must be on the same page, or it could become difficult for both of you.
As you can see, many issues can affect a marriage, and couples need to understand them. Perhaps identifying and addressing some of the weak spots in your marriage could potentially save it.