Oh, ALLLL THE DIRT, you guys!
Sara Hammel is a long-time freelance entertainment journalist who used to work for People Magazine…and quit with a scathing resignation letter, calling out celebrities, nasty publicists and the editors at People. Now, she’s got a semi-memoir coming out called Red Carpet Regret: Confessions of a cynical celebrity journalist. In the memoir, she talks about all of her experiences interviewing and meeting celebrities, and all that BIZZZ, and the girl gave Cosmopolitan a little sneak preview. You can read the full Cosmo piece here, but here are some highlights:
Jennifer Garner knows you were judging how quickly she took off the baby weight: Hammel shares that sheÃ¢â¬â¢s interviewed Jennifer Garner who, according to Hammel, says she admitted she feels pressure to be thin and to drop her baby weight Ã¢â¬Åalmost immediately, but I canÃ¢â¬â¢t make it come off faster than it does. I canÃ¢â¬â¢t seem to be pregnant without gaining 45 lbs. ThereÃ¢â¬â¢s not a lot I can do about it. I wish that I could, because I do feel the pressure and I do see the cameras and itÃ¢â¬â¢s the one time where having people follow you and take pictures of you is just excruciating.Ã¢â¬Â
Jennifer Lopez at Tom CruiseÃ¢â¬â¢s wedding. Ã¢â¬ÅMs. Lo speeds up, and as she passes in front of me she almost I-think-she-kind-of-did spit with a fierce Pss-fff-tsshh in my direction. I am taken aback. As she swans away, her famous butt, which I never realised was so untoned, is undulating under her silken baby pink gown. For me, now, she is ugly inside and out.Ã¢â¬Â
Interviewing Angelina Jolie: ItÃ¢â¬â¢s like Ã¢â¬Åpreparing for an audience with the queenÃ¢â¬Â¦when you meet her she appears unhealthily skinny, not just I-have-to-look-good-onscreen-so-give-me-a-break thin, with jagged shoulder blades and protruding clavicles, and has strangely pale makeup covering up what look like scattered scabs. And that she has a slow way of talking, looks you in the eyes only briefly and not truly connecting at all (many stars try really hard to seem like theyÃ¢â¬â¢re connecting; she does not, at least not with me).Ã¢â¬Â
Duchess KateÃ¢â¬â¢s face: According to Hammel, Kate only smiles because her face is Ã¢â¬Åcollapsing.Ã¢â¬Â She continues, Ã¢â¬ÅThat, my Kate Middleton watchers, is why you will see her grinning maniacally at all times in photographs and videos, even when you get the strong sense it doesnÃ¢â¬â¢t really fit the occasion, even when you canÃ¢â¬â¢t see quite whatÃ¢â¬â¢s so funny, even when those around her donÃ¢â¬â¢t seem remotely festive. Even when sheÃ¢â¬â¢s staring into space, walking up some stairs. Even at somber events when itÃ¢â¬â¢s not right to smile, when she canÃ¢â¬â¢t lest she appear soulless, she tucks the corners ever-so-slightly upward.Ã¢â¬Â
Jennifer Lawrence: Hammel says sheÃ¢â¬â¢s a celebrity who, Ã¢â¬Åwho deigns to throw you a quote but makes it clear theyÃ¢â¬â¢re doing you the grandest favour a higher being can bestow.Ã¢â¬Â
Ryan Reynolds: Hammel says heÃ¢â¬â¢s a celebrity who Ã¢â¬Åwants nothing to do with you before they even meet you.Ã¢â¬Â
Celebrities who are Ã¢â¬Åsnappish or just rudeÃ¢â¬Â: Richard Gere, Alan Cumming, Jon Bon Jovi, and Lupita NyongÃ¢â¬â¢o.
Celebrities who take themselves Ã¢â¬Åvery seriouslyÃ¢â¬Â: Ryan Reynolds, Matthew McConaughey, Ashton Kutcher, Elizabeth Olsen.
Obviously, I LOVE hearing about this stuff. We all do. I wonder how much is true, and how much is just to sell a book, you know? That being said, most of this stuff seems like it COULD be true, though I think the Kate Middleton quote is going to forever haunt my dreams (shudder).