Uh oh. All’s not fair in love and The Bachelorette….
Andi Dorfman was one of the more intelligent- albeit annoying- bachelorettes. Still, the girl has been through a lot of tv drams: Juan Pablo, Nick Viall and of course, her ex-fiance Josh Murray. The two ended their nine-month engagement last year in January, and Dorfman has been hawking her journal It’s Not Okay (the title is a play on “It’s OK,” Juan Pablo Galavis’ catchall phrase) which talks about Josh, her time on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, and all the highs and lows in-between. The book is out May 17 and it does NOT paint a pretty picture of the process or Josh:
“I don’t usually let my emotions get the best of me,” admits former assistant district attorney. Her 2014 stint on The Bachelorette was a rare exception. Amid helicopter rides and vacations, the now 29-year-old fell for dashing financial adviser Josh Murray and accepted a proposal after eight weeks.
“I was 100 percent sure I’d spend my life with him,” she tells Us Weekly. But back in Atlanta, their romance crumbled. Murray, 31, could be jealous and emotionally abusive, she says, adding that during fights, he would sometimes call her a bitch or a whore.
The partnership was, she writes, “the most volatile and f–ked up relationship of my life.” Here’s an excerpt:
He was devastated, angry and hurt, badly. I apologized profusely for lying. He seemed to struggle over whether he was more upset by the fact that I had lied or that I’d had sex with another man. Several more apologies later, it became clear the issue was about my having sex with someone else. That one sexual escapade would become a power play used by my fiancé to justify his mistrust in me. It would be an excuse to call me a whore. And it would eventually lead to the demise of my engagement.
(Murray tells Us in a statement, “It saddens me and is very unfortunate that Andi has chosen to characterize me in such a negative way. I pray she finds peace.”)
The “two hotheads,” as Dorfman calls herself and Murray, clashed often, mostly on him not wanting her to work or have male friends (sounds like a winner)! One ugly fight at a New York City hotel in September 2014 resulted in Dorfman handing back her 3-carat Neil Lane ring. Unable to sleep, she took a walk:
Alone in a random church, I cradled my head in my hands and began to sob. For the first time, I thought, I don’t think we’re going to make it. But the thought scared me — if I wasn’t the happy fiancée, who was I? Back then, I wasn’t ready to answer that question. With little time to spare, I pulled myself together and dashed back. It wasn’t until [our plane took off] that he leaned into me and whispered in my ear that he was sorry. I looked at him only to find tears rolling down his face. I had never seen him cry. Without hesitation, I wrapped my arms around him and began crying as well. It had been one of the worst fights we’d ever had, but I wasn’t ready to lose him.
OOf. Sounds like a lot. Honestly, as a huge BACH fan, I’m excited to read this book. But also, saddened. Like the series, this couple is the product of a lot of societal expectations placed on men and women.
Shake it off, Andi! You’re BETTER off.
Posted Wednesday, May 11th, 2016 at 10:10am
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