I think no one would argue the fact that it’s been a rough year for Christina Aguilera. The 30-year-old singer is on the cover of W Magazine this month, and inside she opens up about how rough this year has been for her, the childhood pain she still carries, and how she keeps a level head through all of it.
“I felt caged by my childhood. And unsafe: Bad things happened in my home; there was violence,” she confessed to the magazine. “‘The Sound of Music’ looked like a form of release. I would open my bedroom window to sing out like Maria. In my own way, I’d be in those hills.”
It was her Grammy-winning voice that brought her trouble on the biggest stage of the world last February, when she flubbed the lyrics to the National Anthem at the Super Bowl.
“Everything on the field at the Super Bowl was vividly bright, and I was having a moment,” Aguilera said about that embarrassing mistake. “I got lost in the emotion of being there and I messed up the lyrics to the song.”
She took it well, though; while she knew that it’d get major play in the media, she tried to laugh it off.
“I went to dinner after the Super Bowl with Matt and I laughed about how I’d made myself into a Trivial Pursuit question: ‘In 2011 what female singer flubbed the lyrics to the national anthem?’” she remembered.
The Matt, of course, is Matthew Rutler, her new boyfriend. She met him on the set of her film debut, the ill-fated “Burlesque,” and soon after, announced her divorce from husband of five years, Jordan Brattman. To hear her tell the story, the split was mutual — and mutually sinful.
“At one time or another,” Aguilera she said, alluding to affairs, “we were both not angels. It got to a point where our life at home was reminding me of my own childhood. I will not have my son grow up in a tension-filled home. I knew there would be a negative reaction in the press to my divorce, but I am not going to live my life because of something someone might say. That goes against everything I sing on my records. I have to be myself.”
And speaking of “Burlesque,” in which she, for the first time, wasn’t playing herself, she doesn’t regret making the movie, even if it failed. Because she didn’t.
“I was sad, but I’m still glad that I did the movie,” she said about the film. “During production, I was going through a lot of self-discovery. As a quote-unquote pop star, you have your entourage with you at all times. When you enter and leave a place, backstage, even at home—you always have your team. On the movie set, I didn’t have anyone around me. And it felt good. When I first met my husband, I needed that helping hand to take the reins and look after me. After the movie, I grew out of being that little girl: I became more of an adult.”