Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to be remaking Mork and Mindy into a feature length film! Everything is in negotiations at the moment. They feel this would be an excellent project to work on together. Steven Spielberg declined to direct this one saying that Tom’s gotten too crazy even for him to work with. Tom is looking for an open minded director who will work in exchange for a ride on the mother ship. Yes, that ship is loaded with the latest technology including a device that speaks to L. Ron Hubbard from the home planet. I know, totally sweet!

And yes, Tom will of course have the white Scientology tent set up on location for free donuts and emeter readings. What about little Suri? Well, they have officially hired on Kate’s old baby sitter Jessica, to care for the tyke who is now closing in on her first birthday. Oops, have I said too much?

Dlisted

Yea, me either.  But TMZ has obtained a copy of the ever elusive Suri’s birth certificate.

TMZ has obtained a copy of the official birth certificate of the elusive Suri Cruise, daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

The document, filed with the Los Angeles County Register-Recorder/County Clerk, was filed May 8, 2006.  (Click on document to download) There are several interesting items of note:

First, St. John’s Hospital has a policy of filing birth certificates within 10 days of birth.  In this case, Suri was born on April 18 but the certificate was not filed until May 8, 20 days later.  An official from the hospital told TMZ that the delay occurred because they needed a signature from the parents or a representative of the parents certifying birth, and that person did not come in until May 4.  The person who signed is labeled “friend.”  The signature is not legible.

Also, the “Attendant or Certifier” who signed the certificate — Anne Heffernan, RNC – was not in the delivery room and did not see the baby.  But a hospital rep tells TMZ that Heffernan is authorized to sign when the doctor is not available.  A hospital rep said “normally the doctor signs” but it isn’t a requirement.

Finally, the hospital rep said that the circumstances that triggered the eventual signing of the birth certificate were that Suri needed a passport and a birth certificate is a prerequisite to obtaining one.

Three months after her birth, Baby Suri, is still unseen, even by the family’s closest friends. A source says Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show her off to fellow Scientologists John Travolta, Kelly Preston and Lisa Marie Presley. Even good pals Will and Jada Pinkett Smith supposedly have not met her, despite repeated calls to Cruise. “Every time, it’s a different excuse: He’s busy or Kate’s not feeling well,” says a source. ‘[The Smiths] think it’s so weird.”

Tom takes the train from Tokyo to Osaka on June 21st.  And meets lots of fans on the way.  He was in Tokyo for the premiere of MI III.

Source: Faded Youth

According to reports, Tom Cruise hasn’t been offered the right price for photos of his alien baby. Right after she was born, a photo shoot was offered to Wire Image. After that an auction between the top celebrity magazines took place. The price was not right for Tom. The top price was said to be $3 Million. Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt fetched a whopping $4 Million.

Tom turned down the offer and now the pics may never be seen. According to a magazine source we will never see anything like Shiloh for a long time.

My theory?  Suri was never human…when the baby popped out, it sprung it’s little alien wings and flew home. 

He looks like a school teacher in that outfit.  A crazy school teacher.