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The season premiere of The Hills, Monday night, was the highest rated episode of the series….ever.

With an average of 4.7 million viewers, the premiere was the most watched program across all of TV for viewers aged 12 to 34 and the highest rated cable telecast of 2008.

An additional 1.8 million streams of the show were delivered on Tuesday by MTV.com.

Did you watch The Hills?

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The Hills’ very own villain, Spencer Pratt, is now a full-fledged advice columnist, fielding questions “from regular folks with regular problems, just like you,” in Radar magazine.

Well, irregular is a bit more like it. In his first attempt at guy-style guidance, Pratt is confronted with a query on how to call back a date after you’ve accidentally wet his bed. (The letter-writer says she left his place before she woke up.)

“Wow! This is a situation you do not want to find yourself in,” responds Pratt, who, finally gets around to suggest: “Best bet is to be honest and tell him that was the drunkest you’ve ever been and that it was a huge mistake and it’ll never happen again. And make sure you buy him new sheets.”

Pratt will dispense such pearls of wisdom starting with the April issue of Radar’s print edition and every Tuesday on its Web site.

Asked how he deals with “weak people and haters” Pratt says that he doesn’t like the weak around him, but has nothing but love for the haters. “If people aren’t hating on you, they don’t care, and if they don’t care, that means you’re not doing anything right,” he writes. “I love my haters.”

And when I first read the story about the chick peeing the bed, I thought it was just snarky commentary.

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Ahahahahha… thanks for the laugh, Spencer.

Reality show players-turned super couple Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt won’t settle for being a sideshow on The Hills. Wannabe pop star Heidi, 21, is prepping for worldwide fame as she moves forward from her homemade music video, “Higher,” to her next professionally mastered single, which is being recorded this month.

“The next thing is to really focus on her new music and get her onstage and on a world tour,” Spencer, 24, who is also Heidi’s manager, tells In Touch. Although Heidi considers herself an original act, she plans to take performance cues from some of the world biggest superstars, like Britney Spears, Madonna and Michael Jackson, says Spencer.

“What we want for Heidi is for her to perform like they do,” Spencer reveals to In Touch. “She could have these huge, unbelievable, explosive performances, with pyrotechnics and lots of costume changes.” “Heidi isn’t going to let what people say stop her from being a huge star,” Spencer tells In Touch.

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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have more than just music in the works.

“We’re definitely developing the Heidi and Spencer video game,” Pratt told Usmagazine.com last week at video game giant Electronic Arts’ Burnout Paradise pre-Valentine’s Day lounge in L.A.

Pratt, who said he is collaborating with EA on the game, told Us, “it’s top secret. Let’s just say that everyone will be addicted.”

Good news to those who love-to-hate The Hills pair: “You can definitely play as us or you can play against us,” Pratt said. “You can even torture me.”

He said “there’s going to be two versions: the adult version and the one for minors,” adding, “just be ready, that’s all I have to say.”

Expect the game to hit shelves in 2009, Pratt said, “right around Christmastime, probably.”

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