What in the eff is wrong with her tounge??? For closer look – click on the picture.

Cause it’s just TOO easy.  Here she is partying with her MOM.  Getting drunk and sweaty -then being carried out of the bar.  As my 6 year old son would say “classic“. 

“Mom, you’re so hot.”

“Is it getting warm in here?”

“MMM smelly little treat.  I think I’ll try it.”

“This is my sexy face.  Oh yea, men want me.”

“I should stop.  Wait, one more drink.”

“I should have stopped at that last drink. Damn you.”

Paris Hilton CAN leave a car without showing her vag!  Here she is arriving at Hyde Lounge, 7/23.

Coming soon to the clearance rack near you…

And I don’t know why.  Any chance that girl gets, she just pops it out like there ain’t nothin to it!  Off the top of my head, I can think of at LEAST 4 times this EXACT thing has happened to her before.  And she STILL doesn’t get it?  She must like it.

If for some reason you want to see her vag – follow the jump. (more…)

Paris Hilton wants to reproduce. Soon. The partying heiress insists she’d be a “great mother” — but the 25-year-old she doesn’t want to wait long because she doesn’t want to be an “old mom.”

“I know in my heart of hearts I would be a great mother,” Hilton told the London Mirror. “I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel that I would have a lot to give to my children. . . . And I don’t want to be an old mom — hopefully it’ll happen soon, within the next five years.”

And, despite her reputation for being a skimpily clad man-killer, Hilton insists she’s cautious when it comes to her love life.

“One-night stands are not for me,” she said. “I think it’s gross when you just give it up. Guys want you more if you don’t just hand it to them on a platter. If they want you, then they will wait. You have to make them work for it.”

Hilton also had harsh words for her former best friend and “Simple Life” co-star, Nicole Richie. “I only want friends who are there for me just like I’m there for them. Otherwise it’s too painful,” she said. “I brought Nicole on to ‘The Simple Life,’ and all of a sudden she became this different person. She dropped her old friends and she’s someone else.”

Pictures:  Paris Hilton and Caroline D’Amore leave Boujis club in London, 7/2.