Gwyneth Paltrow opens up about postpardum depression and feeling like a “horrible person”

In February’s Good Housekeeping, Gwyneth Paltrow has opens up about suffering from postpartum depression following the birth of her second child, Moses in 2006.
“I felt like a zombie. I couldn’t access my heart. I couldn’t access my emotions. I couldn’t connect. It was terrible, it was the exact opposite of what had happened when Apple was born. With her, I was on cloud nine. I couldn’t believe it wasn’t the same. I just thought it meant I was a terrible mother and a terrible person.”
It was Gwyneth’s husband, Chris Martin, who helped see her through her tough time.
“About four months into it, Chris came to me and said, ‘Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong.’ I kept saying, ‘No, no, I’m fine.’ But Chris identified it, and that sort of burst the bubble,” the 38-year-old Oscar winner continued. “The hardest part for me was acknowledging the problem. I thought postpartum depression meant you were sobbing every single day and incapable of looking after a child. But there are different shades of it and depths of it, which is why I think it’s so important for women to talk about it. It was a trying time. I felt like a failure.”
I have two sons. When I had my first boy, I was 23, and had no clue what postpartum depression was. It really just hit me like a ton of bricks. You’re not really prepared for something like that when you’re a little girl, are you? You just imagine having babies as this magical time, and everything will be perfect once you see your little child. But it’s not always like that! I believe I had postpartum depression for three months (may have been as long as six) after my oldest was born. It was a really terrible time, because I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I felt horrible for having all these negative feelings. I didn’t realize what was going on! I couldn’t figure out why my son couldn’t make me happy. Why wasn’t I happy!? I don’t have daughters – but if I did – I would definitely educate them on PD, and let them know how completely normal it is, and not to get discouraged!
In other Gwyneth news, it was announced that she will be hosting SNL on January 15th – and the musical guest will be Cee Lo! It’s gonna be good!
PIC: Gwyneth leaving the Jimmy Fallon show last night. Did you miss the video of her singing an R&B song with Jimmy? It’s priceless – must see! Go here
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