George Clooney, on the cover of the April issue of Esquire magazine.

What do you do when Donald Trump pokes fun at your height and Fabio threatens to beat you up? If you’re George Clooney, you take it all in stride – and make a couple jokes, of course.

The Michael Clayton star, 46, agreed to a good-natured Googling session in the April issue of Esquire magazine, and in it he’s asked about a laundry list of recent rumors about him – including his reported run-in with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter pitchman Fabio.

When asked about his alleged feud with Fabio last fall (in which the model said he could beat Clooney up), the actor responds, “Yeah, that’s probably true. He’s a big guy. There is a moment when you are actually in the argument and you’re thinking, ‘If I do get beaten down by Fabio, that will be far worse than the pain. I wouldn’t shake that.”

Also found in the magazine’s Web search:

• When Esquire discovers a Web site that calls Clooney “gay, gay, gay,” the good-natured actor quips, “No, I’m gay, gay. The third gay – that was pushing it.”

• Donald Trump’s recent “short guy” comments about Clooney. George, who is 5- feet 11-inches tall, responds, “I saw Donald Trump on Larry King and he was saying, ‘Clooney is a very short guy. I mean he’s a tiny guy.’ I’ve met Donald Trump once, and I was sitting at a table. He came over, shook my hand, and walked away. I guess I looked about three foot five sitting at that table.”

• They also surface a quote from Rupert Everett criticizing Clooney’s Ocean’s movies as a “cancer,” to which Clooney replies: “Where did that come from? You kind of go, Dude, weren’t you in Dunston Checks in?”

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The ex-boyfriend of George Clooney’s new love Sarah Larson has blasted his former partner as a high maintenance challenge. Tommy MCKaughn insists the movie star has his work cut out to keep Larson happy.

And, as the couple heads for a one-year anniversary this June, the ex admits he’s still surprised former waitress Larson fell for Clooney – because she’s not impressed by celebrity. He says, “She was a hippie chick but high maintenance at the same time. She’s not starstruck, and I bet he really likes that about her.” But MCKaughn’s comments aren’t all bad – he also reveals his ex was a “nurturing soul” who loved kids and has a talent for exotic Indian dance.

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Steve Carrell says that he’s overjoyed that a style magazine has named him the best dressed man at last month’s Academy Awards.

He said that he is particularly pleased to have beaten out competition from Hollywood hunk George Clooney to land the top spot on the Esquire list.

He jokes, “George Clooney is a hack. It’s all makeup. It’s mirrors, too. They spackle it on. I agree, I’m much better looking than George Clooney.”

George Clooney is adamant he will never have children or marry again, despite finding love at 46 with former waitress Sarah Larson. Fifteen years after Hollywood’s favorite bachelor vowed never to walk down the aisle again, following his divorce from Talia Balsam, he is still convinced marriage isn’t for him.

Clooney says, “I said those things in 1993 and it has kind of stuck with me ever since. The truth is that it’s not a consideration. I don’t think I will have children – it’s a big responsibility. But I don’t have this mantra that I go around screaming.”

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Brad Pitt’s pal George Clooney has joined the ranks of those gossiping about Angelina Jolie’s baby bump, joking her bloated belly might just be a bad case of gas. The couples’ representatives are still refusing to confirm or deny the actress’ reported pregnancy, which was the talk of the Film Independent Spirit Awards on Saturday. The pair raced up the ‘blue’ carpet, refusing all interview requests, but it was clear from Jolie’s bloated belly that the actress may, indeed, be pregnant, as reports suggest.

And now Clooney is weighing in on the mystery. Speaking on the red carpet at the Oscars on Sunday, the movie star joked, “Well, there’s a lot of problems. Either it’s a tremendous amount of gas which is just not likely… Really, not likely.”

George Clooney and girlfriend Sarah Larson, arriving for the 80th annual Academy Awards.

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