Oh Avril Lavigne, pride of Napanee, Ont., where did it all go wrong?

It seems like it was just the other day that he was a Sk8er Boi and the other girl was a preppy, and then he became a big rock star and the preppy girl was mortified and Avril was the rock star’s girlfriend and everything worked out. It worked out ‘cos Avril was dancing on a car with all these other people dancing around her and being really jealous ‘cos Avril was wearing, like, some guy’s necktie over her T-shirt and they hadn’t thought of that.

And then, dear heart, Avril Lavigne, pride of Napanee, it got so complicated. Why’d ya have to go and do that?

Allegations that you were just a record-company created anti-Britney, a thing made in a Petri dish by marketers and mysterious professional songwriters. Allegations of plagiarism and then lawyer’s letters, and poor Chantal Kreviazuk retracting everything she said about you. And then the dumb-as-a-plank spitting and swearing at photographers and people who just wanted your autograph. Did you really have to sign eff-you instead of signing your name? Did you really have to go to the same club two nights in a row and spit at paparazzi? The apologies came later, too later. Why did ya have to go and act like you’re somebody else? Why did ya have to go and make it all so very complicated?

Whatever. I’m going to stop addressing questions to the pride of Napanee now and just give you the gist of a much-promoted thing airing tonight.

Click here to read the rest of the story!

WENN

Is it just me, or does Deryck’s head look ginormous.

Splash

Paris Hilton & Avril Lavigne shared a car after partying at the grand opening of GOA, a new nightclub in LA, last night.

Apparently the fact that Paris dated Derrck Whibley doesn’t concern Avril.  As long as he’s been tested & is clean, I guess.

Here are all the ladies from last night!

While at a show in LA Avril Lavigne announced she will head out on her own for her 2008 tour (on her own bus that is). She is sick and tired of sharing a bus with her all male band members. She no longer feels “like a tomboy”.

She said, “I’m a bit more girly now.”

The bus that Avril will travel in will be specifically designed just for her and be more of a woman retreat than the stinky haven of the males.

Good Luck!

Celebrity Babylon

I know we’re all sick to death of hearing about this guy…but doesn’t Chris Crocker look even just the tiniest, little itty-bittiest like Avril Lavigne?

And…who does one feel sorry for? WHICH ONE?

Oh and while we’re on the subject, apparently Avril had a birthday, got loaded and didn’t spit on anyone.