You gotta run your dates by your celebrity chef friends- EVERYBODY knows that!
As part of a Goop/Cadillac “experience,” Gwyneth Paltrow co-hosted a dinner with her BFF Mario Batali at BataliÃ¢â¬â¢s new Manhattan restaurant La Sirena. And yes, it sounds insufferable.
First Batali described, in vivid detail, the meal about to be served (which included a tricolore appetizer, and a choice of halibut and beef short rib for the entrÃÂ©e), before ceding the stage to Paltrow. Ã¢â¬ÅSo now that we all want to have sex with our food, based on [BataliÃ¢â¬â¢s] description . . .Ã¢â¬Â Paltrow began, and it was possible to imagine, as the crowd all chuckled, that we were inside her palatial, pristine foyer, at her home in Los Angeles, that she was about to walk around and pour us all glasses of sparkling rosÃÂ© (or watch, approvingly, as someone else did). She went on to note that she and Batali had been friends for 18 years. Ã¢â¬ÅHe was just teasing me about every boyfriend I brought to [BataliÃ¢â¬â¢s restaurant] Babbo over the years. He liked Brad Pitt, if you want to know. DidnÃ¢â¬â¢t like Ben Affleck that much.Ã¢â¬Â Batali chimed in at this point with a joke about babysitters, to which Paltrow chastised, lovingly, Ã¢â¬ÅShut the fuck up.Ã¢â¬Â She then told a short story about Cadillacs (her grandfather Buster was an obsessive fan) before signing off: Ã¢â¬ÅThank you all for giving us your Wednesday night, and buon appetito, and enjoy!Ã¢â¬Â
Paltrow is the platonic ideal of a dinner host, of course; without even being able to hear what she was saying (Ã¢â¬ÅThatÃ¢â¬â¢s not what they do in Majorca,Ã¢â¬Â Ã¢â¬ÅIÃ¢â¬â¢m telling you, three drops of grapefruit seed extract will make a world of difference,Ã¢â¬Â would be my guesses), it was clear that those speaking to her were riveted. She holds a wine glass in the effortlessly cool manner of your older cousin at Thanksgiving dinner (Ã¢â¬ÅOne day, I hope IÃ¢â¬â¢ll be able to look like that,Ã¢â¬Â you think). Toward the end of the dinner, she left the room so gracefully that it took a few minutes for anyone to notice it had happened.
(Via Vanity Fair)
I can hear Paltrow’s tone in my head as I read this, and it makes me violently angry. She’s like, a caricature of her own self at this point- so sure everyone cares about every little bit of her “glam” life. UGH.
What do YOU think about Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goopy dinner? Weigh in below!