No Amount Of Blue Steel-ing Will Make Zoolander 2 A Good Movie

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"Zoolander 2" World Premiere

This movie is so NOT hot right now.

There has been a lot of talk about Zoolander 2, the sequel to the Ben Stiller / Owen Wilson model comedy- including marketing ploys and a very fashionable sneak premiere.  It came out today, and surprise surprise…the thing’s a dud.

Don’t believe me? The thing has 20% on Rotten Tomatoes AND PerezHilton collected all the reviews on the disappointing sequel, so you can check it out for yourself:

Bruce Kirkland, Toronto Sun: “Zoolander No. 2 is a James Bond flick with a frontal lobotomy, a brain-damaging procedure that renders Ben Stiller’s oddball movie into an incoherent and idiotic mess.”

Alonso Duralde, The Wrap: “Scene partners don’t seem to be on the same frequency, and the timing often falls flat, and the result is a movie that – in my audience, anyway – exhausted the good will and anticipation of people who were hoping to be entertained but ultimately capitulated to the general airlessness of the final product.”

Brian Truitt, USA Today: “Stiller’s Derek Zoolander (he of the powerful ‘Blue Steel’ and ‘Magnum’ looks) and Wilson’s Hansel (whose signature expression seems to be ‘Pouty Resting Face’) return for a follow-up comprised of tired in-jokes, a strangely mean-spirited family subplot and a parade of forgettable cameos by A-list celebrities. Moviegoers may wish that Will Ferrell’s megalomaniacal supervillain Mugatu had won in the first Zoolander and saved us from another film with these boneheads.”

Richard Lawson, Vanity Fair: “Yes, Zoolander 2 is that bad, an unending string of creaky pop-culture jokes — a hotel has ‘farm-to-table WiFi,’ because ‘farm-to-table’ and ‘WiFi’ are terms people are using these days –peppered with squicky, uncomfortable outré bits that land badly.”

Christian Nashawaty, Entertainment Weekly: “The thing is, if Stiller spent half as much time sharpening the film’s jokes as he did rifling through his Rolodex for celebrity cameos (Willie Nelson, Kiefer Sutherland, Susan Boyle?!), he might’ve coughed up a few laughs. As it is, though, Zoolander 2 is embarrassing, lazy, and aggressively unfunny. The only good news is that at the pace the franchise is moving, we won’t get ‘Zoolander 3′ until 2030.”

Nico Lang, Salon: “If you enjoyed Zoolander, listen to your friend Billy Zane: Toss this one back in the bargain bin where it belongs. This hideous knockoff isn’t just a crime against fashion, it’s an affront to everyone who liked the original.”

And a couple critics were into it, I mean as into it as one might be:

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: “Zoolander captured its moment, and so does Zoolander 2. It skewers the preening emptiness of contemporary culture with the help of people who are part of it.”

Jesse Hassenger AV Club: “It’s a bizarre and pointless spectacle, but not an unamusing one.”

REAL TALK: Will you still see Zoolander 2? COMMENT BELOW!

 

Photo: FameFlynet

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Friday, February 12th, 2016 at 12:12pm
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