To most of the world, Kate Gosselin is the levelheaded, tough mom of eight seen on TV. But the few people allowed into her inner circle know Kate has a different side — a softer, more vulnerable side. Now for the first time, Kate’s closest friend, Jamie Ayers, is speaking out about Kate’s split from hubby Jon — and defending her pal against unfair media portrayals, some of which have branded the single mom a “monster.”

Jamie tells Life & Style about her recent visit with Kate: “It was good for her — she’s lonely now that Jon’s gone.” But with eight children to care for, there’s no time for Kate to sit around feeling sorry for herself. “Kate’s trying to do more than be just a mom,” says Jamie, “the kind of stuff Jon would’ve done. She wants to be well-rounded for the kids.”

And while Kate misses having a partner, she’s not ready to date. “Kate says it’s not something she’d ever consider doing before the divorce is final,” Jamie says. “Even then, I don’t foresee it being a priority for her. Her goal is supporting her kids.”

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