Supposed friends of Rihanna say that the situation with Chris Brown in which he was sentenced 180 days of community labor for assaulting her, has been hard on the songbird. Chris has been given five years of probation and is not permitted to be within 50 yards of her [10 yards on events]. This has reportedly made Rihanna quite unhappy.

A source tells Now magazine, “It’s so hard for her. She knows her family would freak out if she told them she wants to get on with Chris, so she has to hide her feelings.”

The source also says that Rihanna was absolutely terrified to testify against Brown, “She’s been a nervous wreck for weeks as she was so terrified that Chris would hate her after she testified. Whenever she starts crying, she has to pretend that she’s been having flashbacks to the attacks. But it isn’t that. It’s because she misses him and can’t believe it came to this after everything they had going. She’s mad with him, but at the same time she blames herself.”

According to the source, the nerves were uncontrollable before the trial, “She couldn’t eat in the days before the trial. Her stomach was in knots and she was shaking. Whenever I see her out, she always has a drink in her hand – mostly champagne, but sometimes beer or shots. She’s in pain and is trying to numb it out to the best of her ability.”

Source, Bauer-Griffin