New York Magazine TV writer Emma Rosenblum has, in her words, “surprisingly strong feelings” about the recent Katherine Heigl Emmy brouhaha. We offered her space to give Heigl a little bit of career advice.

Dear Katherine (Kate? Katie?),

So you’ve acted out once again (no pun intended!). You’ve withdrawn your name from Emmy eligibility, because, in your words, ”I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination.” And now you’ve started a fight with the writers of Grey’s Anatomy. Their feelings are hurt, Katie: “It’s an ungrateful slap in the face,” one show insider told EW. You actually won the Emmy for supporting actress last year, which was really so lovely for you. So why, this year, are you so sure your material doesn’t even warrant a nomination? Let’s think.

Okay, Heigl, we agree that Izzie’s story lines have become increasingly marginal and unbelievable. Lately, everyone on the show seems to think that Izzie’s completely irritating. So do we! We actually groan aloud when your perky face appears onscreen! There’s a theory we have about this, Katherine, so listen closely. Have you ever thought that maybe the writers are incorporating your own personality into that of your character? Because we read a lot of women’s magazine and gossip sites, and we think we kind of know you at this point. And guess what? You’re totally annoying and self-righteous, just like Izzie!

Of course, we, too, were offended by Isaiah Washington. He called your on- and-off-screen best friend, T.R. Knight, a faggot, and that’s just uncalled for. You established yourself as Knight’s defender and kept speaking to the press about how Washington should be fired. So we guess that’s nice of you and all, but you really should have let your friend fight his own battle. You ended up looking pretty darn priggish.

And then (and then!) you called your own hit movie, Knocked Up, “a little sexist.” You have a right to your opinion, and we might even agree with you. But you were Apatow’s first choice for that movie, you did it, you made lots of money, and it made you a certified movie star. What possessed you to bash it? Do you think you’re above the work that you do? It was a comedy, and you profited tremendously. You’re no Streep, honey, and even she does Abba with a smile.

Now we’re going to throw you a bone: We think you’re a talented comedic actress. That’s right, your timing is much better than most, and you have a goofy onscreen persona that combines nicely with your California-girl looks. Plus, My Father the Hero was one of our favorite movies growing up, so we’ll always have a soft spot for you, Heig-y. Though last week, in a dark moment, we watched 27 Dresses on demand. Now that was a case of writers messing up your material.

So please take our advice. Grey’s Anatomy is a soap opera. Get off your high horse, missy. You talk all about the integrity of the Academy? Ha! You know they’re giving an Emmy to a reality-TV show host this year, right? Stop pissing off your writers and directors and castmates. We want to like you, Katherine, really. Please stop making it so hard to do so.

Warmest regards,
Emma Rosenblum

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