Sarah Jessica Parker named the Unsexiest Female by Maxim.
And yes, I know there are better pictures of SJP, but I think this one (from the SATC set) is rather funny…and suits the article below.
The folks over at Maxim magazine think it’s too easy picking Charlize Theron as the Sexiest Woman Alive. They’d rather weigh in on who’s unsexy.
The unfortunate recipient of the lad mag’s Unsexiest title is “Sex & the City” star Sarah Jessica Parker, whose character Carrie Bradshaw is not only in high demand with the opposite sex, but is also a fashion diva among the fair sex.
Maxim, however, points out her more, um, equine features: “How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with ‘sex’ in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we´d rather ride Chris Noth.”
In the runner-up position is the Beehived One herself, “Rehab” singer Amy Winehouse, whose “openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat’s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats.”.
On the small screen, “Grey’s Anatomy” star Sandra Oh took third place for playing “Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure.”
Rounding out the Unsexy 5 is Madonna in the penultimate position “with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull.” The heir to her pop princess throne, Britney Spears, took last place because, “Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, she´s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge.”
Thursday, October 25th, 2007 at 12:12pm
Filed under Sarah Jessica Parker | 18 Comments »
October 25th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Now, That is mean.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
While I agree that all of these women listed are not very sexy at all to me, Maxim’s tone just reeks of misplaced rage. ‘How dare you bitches not be sexy for me and yet still be on my TV! HOW DARE YOU! I HATE MY MOTHER!’ it just screams to me. Go die, Maxim.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
I think it’s freaking hilarius. She isn’t sexy! Why be ashamed to say it!
October 25th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
I’ve gotta hand it to ‘em. From a guy’s perspective, they nailed it! I also would add Rene Russo (more man than I’ll ever be), Madeline Stowe, and Cindy TelePrompter Crawford to the list.
October 25th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
I agree with mpb. Women don’t exist as sexual toys for men; who cares if a few aren’t sexy?
October 25th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
I agree that it is pretty downright mean. Sure, we all know they aren’t sexy when compared with the usual girls on Maxim’s cover, at least in the same sense of anorexic, tanned, and made up to heck sexy. But most people don’t look like that, and I think it is pretty good that SJP hasn’t succumbed to getting her face chopped up so she looks like everyone else and she certainly plays an unforgettable and fun character on tv that millions of people have enjoyed. So yeah, she doesn’t look like Gisele Bundchen, but there is no need to tear her down for her looks, just like the other women on the list. What are they wanting to accomplish with that, telling these women to change their faces or just to make them feel bad about themselves? What have the done except been themselves?
October 25th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
I don’t get it. SJP’s body is to die for. Maybe that’s just from a girl’s perspective?
October 25th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Totally agree, she is one of the “hardest looking” (nice way of putting ugly) actresses around. PLUS she’s in too many damn commercials for hair care or beauty products!!! WTF It’s like that Seinfeld episode, though; she does look doable from certain angles and in certain lighting, but otherwise fix that damn face! lmao
October 25th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
MPB. agreed.
wow. new low. thank god no one with a brain reads that sorry excuse for a magazine.
if i met my dream man and he was a fan of that magazine, it’d be over. scum of the earth.
October 26th, 2007 at 6:25 am
I thought that was hilarious….ahahahahaha….very, very funny!
October 26th, 2007 at 7:33 am
maxim is right
October 26th, 2007 at 8:42 am
soooo true
October 26th, 2007 at 8:43 am
sooooo true
October 26th, 2007 at 9:19 am
where is the celebrity male list?
October 29th, 2007 at 7:25 am
I relaize you may think it’s funny, but what Maxim has done is extrmemely cruel. They have pushed females back about 100 years with this article. I don’t see anyone putting out an unsexy male list…assholes!
October 29th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Here’s the unsexy lady list
http://www.maxim.com/Entertainment/1Sarahjessicaparker/slideshow/7314/435.aspx?src=tst128:MKd
October 31st, 2007 at 2:38 pm
I’ve never read this magazine but Boy ! what a ploy to get people interested in those glossy pages. There are so many important issues going on right now in this world that need the attention this is getting.
Did anyone happen to see the commercial Sarah is in .. true news worthy information about millions of children dying from starvation?
November 5th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
I really don’t see the use of such an article , it isn’t ethical, entertaining ,it was plain free cruelty. But I guess Maxim’s goal is to make normal, everyday life girls feel bad about themselves.
Thumbs up maxim for lacking ideas