I don’t know why I am drawn to the Bachelor. It always sucks – and I like it. I am endlessly entertained by women making an ass out themselves on public tv.  I mean they signed up for it, right?

Tauni (above) stuck her butt in his face – and shook it.  She claimed it was her “vibe”.  I mean that is classic tv right there. I can’t imagine why he didn’t pick her!

Melissa lost her fake boob thingy, where Jade picked it up and displayed it for everyone to see.  Melissa admits that it’s hers, and that she’s “trying very hard to be bigger boobed,” but gives up and takes out the second one.  Melissa also proceeds to get VERY drunk, and can hardly stand up during the rose ceremony.

My favorite moment of the night was when Morgan decides “desperate measures” are called for and shows Brad her webbed toes! She takes off her shoes and puts her feet up on the table, so the poor Bachelor can have a closer look at her nasty ass feet. Recounting the incident to the camera, Brad is laughing so hard, he has to wipe the tears from his eyes.  I was right there with ya, Brad.

Juli decided that Brad wanted to see her “human pretzel” and whipped that badboy stunt out. Juli decides that to get the First Impression Rose, she’ll have to do her “Human Pretzel” routine but first she puts on long pants under her dress so she can bend her legs behind her head without flashing him! McCarten declares she wouldn’t have done that and pronounces the stunt “awkward.”

Now this is TV at it’s best.  Thank you very much.