“Things I Learned from ‘American Idol’”  Sanjaya’s on Letterman tonight!

10. The camera adds ten pounds to your mohawk.

9. Work hard and make sacrifices, you can finish in 7th place.

8. It’s very important to “Keep it real, dawg.”

7. I should have gone for the immunity idol – oh wait, that’s “Survivor.”

6. On-camera Simon is a bit nasty, but off-camera, he’s a total jerk.

5. Voting for yourself 100 times an hour causes some wicked carpal tunnel.

4. When you forget the words, just do this. (Sanjaya belts out a riff like“Ohhhhhhhh”)

3. Honestly, I thought I was auditioning for “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”

2. Nothing.

1. America loves performers with bad hair – right, Dave?

Thanks to Kimberly @ CBS!