So I’m a dumbass.

snow.jpg 

This morning when I got up - it was frickin cold outside.  It had snowed a bit overnite, and there was a mix of snow and ice on the road.  And being from Oregon (I’ll just speak for myself here) I DO NOT know how to drive in the ice/snow/heavy rain.  It TOTALLY freaks me out. I feel like I’m going to die at any moment. I sat on the couch with my jammies on, and I was watching the news. I kept waiting for my son’s school to scroll across the bottom so I wouldn’t have to take him to school.  No such luck.

I thought, maybe they hadn’t made the news yet, and it would still be cancelled.  His school is on top of this really high hill, and I had visions of the school bus stalling at the bottom. So I called the school, and there was this voicemail saying “School is on as scheduled.” So crap!! I had totally let the kids sleep in, thinking they would get the morning off.  More importantly that I would get the morning off. 

It was 7:30, and Cameron had to be at the bus stop at 8:10.  If I didn’t get him there on time, then I would have to drive him up that steep hill to school myself, and well, let’s just say…that ain’t happening.  Both the boys were still asleep - and I was freaking out.

So no morning pleasantries today.  Usually, I go into their room, and wake them up one by one…slowly…and sweetly.  I lay next to my youngest and tickle his back…and I just sorta stand over my oldest and whisper (he’s not into cuddling).  But not today.  I was running up and down the hallway like a freakin nut case in a mental institution. 

I was yelling “Let’s go! Let’s go! We’re late!”  There was no way I could drive Cam to school… I had to get to the bus stop in time.  The kids didn’t move, so I yelled “Guy’s it snowed! It snowed!” And they hopped out of bed like it was Christmas morning.  They ran to the window and looked out - sorta dissappointed at the lack of snow…they - like I - had hoped for some huge downpour that would have buried our entire house in snow. See - where we are…it just doesn’t snow.  And if it does…it’s just a little powder on the road…nothing to write home about. 

Anyways - I put the kids breakfast in Ziploc baggies - and tell them tough cookies - they just have to eat it in the car.  I get them bundled up from head to toe (you would have thought my house was buried in snow) - my oldest growling the whole time.  He’s very warm blooded and sweats just looking at a hat.

We race out of the house - and get in the car.  No time to pre-heat the car today.  We just have to tough it out until the car warms up.  I wrap Connor up in my coat, and try to ignore the fact that his lips are purple.

I slowly and very carefully pull out of my driveway and start down the road.  I come to a 4 way stop, and realize I can’t see out my window.  It’s got a thin layer of snow on it.  So I do what anyone would do (okay, well as I now know - maybe this isn’t the smartest thing to do) and roll my window down to get the ice/snow off.  Then, I try to roll my window back up - and it’s STUCK!!!

Yes folks, my window was stuck DOWN!! Like majorly stuck.  Every time I pushed the button, it sounded like there were rocks in the window.  And I have a 2006 Mazda - things shouldn’t be falling apart.  Connor starts wimpering, his tears freezing to his cheeks (okay that was a bit more dramatic than it actually was, I just like dramatics, okay).

I told the boys to huddle together for warmth, and I drove them slowly to school.  I’ve never seen them so excited to be at daycare. I thought Connor was going to throw himself on the ground and kiss the floor.  I was just worried they were going to tell their teachers that mommy drove them to school with the window open.  People were already driving next to me giving me dirty looks.  Like I can help it people!!!

I zipped my fleece up to my nose and drove - with my window stuck - all the way to work (which was about a 20 minute drive).  I called the dealer, and they let me bring it right in.  They gave me a new Camry to have until my car is fixed.  I think I may just keep it.

Anyways - so that’s where I’ve been…I had to take my car in. Now, back to posting!!

Jocelyn

P.S. That’s not my car, and it didn’t snow that much… I just thought it would set the mood.  And I’m still in my fleece….having a hard time warming up today.  Wonder why.

18 Responses to “So I’m a dumbass.”

  1. Friedman-Klein Says:

    Oh, you are too funny! It’s a story (almost exactly like yours) that caused my husband and I to move from the beautiful mountains of Colorado to the deserts of Arizona! As we say now, “we don’t have to shovle the heat.”

  2. Robyn Says:

    That was so funny sister!!!

  3. Missy Says:

    Great story! I felt like I was there.
    No wonder I love this site so much. Enjoy the new Camry!

  4. Jesse D Says:

    LOL sounds like a *typical* day in my house - you pretty much nailed it.

  5. Suze Says:

    OMG!! That was the funniest story ever!! Thanks so much for sharing! You had me laughing so hard, my boss asked me what was wrong!

  6. Mom Says:

    That was great honey, just what I needed. Love you….

  7. GirlGlobal Says:

    Thanks for the laugh - sounds like you did okay!!

  8. Skye Says:

    Great story! What part of the country do you live in? I’m in Canada, and we haven’t had any snow yet (thank goodness!)

  9. Aunt Di Says:

    welcome to life as a parent it only gets better!! Thank you for making our day alittle better with your stories..lov u :)

  10. jax Says:

    Jocelyn, You ROCK ! ! ! I Live in Santa Monica and yearn to be in Oregon. EXCEPT, when I hear a story like your yours ! ! ! It’s SOO bright and sunny, today (although, it’s kinda cool outside). Sorry, just wanted to add some warmth to your day. My day @ work does not feel the same without constant visits to your site…LOVE YA !!!

  11. Skye Says:

    Ignore my question above. Duh to me! Your story clearly says Oregon. :-)

  12. dmh Says:

    Where r you from in oregon? I am in NE Portland.. never knew you were form here and I look at your site all the time!

  13. Jocelyn Says:

    I live in Beaverton and work in Hillsboro.

    And PS> I’m warm now. I’m having my second cup of coffee for the day. I took my little loaner car for a spin on my lunch break. Watch me totally break this car.

  14. Erin Says:

    that was funny Jizzlyn. Only one problem you don’t run around the house like a mad person yelling everytime you leave the house? I do that everytime we leave its the only way I can get everyone to the car. No wonder I feel like I have lost my mind. Oh you owe me a new movie night. Want to go see that Cameron Diaz/Kate Winslet movie next week?

  15. Jocelyn Says:

    ^ Yes! I can’t WAIT to see that movie…

  16. Jamie Says:

    Jocelyn - Thanks so much for the funny story! Parenthood stories are the best! I’ve got plenty of my own, but none really involve snow…doesn’t snow much in Texas. P.S. I love dramatics, too :)

  17. Brandi Says:

    Great story Joc! It’s not snowing here in NYC yet. It’s actually been nice here the last couple of days. I’m scared it’s going to snow the day I fly back home and shut down the airport or something! How much would that suck! Can’t wait to see you! Don’t let the boys freeze before I get there. Love ya!

  18. donna Says:

    You totally crack me up. I love your sense of humor…b/c it’s like mine. I loved the part about hoping the kids didn’t say anything about the window being down…stay warm!

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