LINKS!

• Keanu Reeves takes on Cannes. (Derek Hail)
• What happened to the hotness that WAS John Mayer? (Smart)
• Pink on MTV’s Spankin New Music. (Holly Scoop)
• Ricky Martin needs a good shave. (INO)
• Paris Hilton to ruin reggae forever. (Velvet Hot Tub)

Want a good laugh?? Well, here’s my treat to you. Guess who this is?

To promote his record release this August, rapper Kevin Federline (I prefer to call him KFed), 28, submitted to a haircut, a shave and a wardrobe overhaul at a May photo shoot for Item magazine (out on June 5). After the makeover, he shared his philosophy on fatherhood, fame and fastfood.

On the public: “I should just put a bulls-eye on my back. If I stay home and take care of my wife and my kids, then I’m a loafer, not a good father. If I try to have a career, nobody thinks I am caring for my family. I can’t win.”

On rumors: “You’ll never see that guy they say cheats or goes partying all the time. If I’m there and I’m out at a club, I am there for a reason. I am not there to mingle with women. All that shit is done to me. I did that when I was 21.”

On his kids: “It’s completely unfair when a child is brought into this world an now he’s already looked at like a prince. My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don’t have it easy with me. Period….My kids are going to work at Taco Bell, dammit.”

On his image: “I wish people would ask me about my career. Usually it’s, ‘How’s the wife and kids?’ Not that I mind; that’s my pride and joy. But it would be nice for people to look at me like an artist. The day they judge me as an artist, a CEO, as somebody, not Britney Spears’ husband, that’s the day I am looking forward to.”

On his media conspiracy theory: “The same day Dick Cheney shoots someone, they’ve got me on the cover of MSN [Web site]. It’s life they’re diverting attention from what’s really going on.”

Jake Gyllenhaal walking in West Village 5/23.

Source: I Heart Jake

Joaquin Phoenix out and about in Hollywood Hills on May 25, 2006.

He was seen househunting with a friend of his and riding around on his yellow Ducati.

Christian Slater in The Men’s Book. You know you’re old when even Christian Slater starts getting grey hairs. Yikes.

Ashlee Simpson goes for doughnuts 5/29.

NIP/TUCK IS COMING BACK SEPTEMBER 19TH!

Oooooooh, how much do I love Nip/Tuck. Let me count the ways.